April 23, 2003 Wednesday 4.35 AM
..silence is killing me. I still couldn't sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, I imagine things that only make me depressed. If this continues, I'll probably be shedding some tears later.

PLEASE, can someone give me a sign.

ej out.

3.33 AM
I AM SO DEPRESSED!!!!

For the past hours, I have been diverting my depression on other activities. I have filled my sked with stuff to keep me busy. I thought I would be tired by now.. but I am not! So, here I am, shouting what's on my mind.

I really hate insensitive people.
I hate it when they barge in and mess with my life.
I hate it when they tell that I should fix my life, when they couldn't even fix their own life.

I am a person who has no right to love, nor to be loved. I don't deserve love.. trust me, i don't deserve it.

...



April 22, 2003 Tuesday 2.23 AM
I just attended noelle's debut. What could I say? I had a splendid time. The people were fun to be with, the food was yummy (except for the mango mousse, dear god, i wish i haven't eaten that dessert... it tasted like foam), noey was cute in that blue gown, I met a lot of people, and lastly, I finally got to dance with my best friend.

Hehe.. I arrived around 6.30pm, hoping I wasn't late (thank god i wasn't). I sat with the high school "kulasa" barkada (I was a kulasa by heart n_n). It was just fun! We were all laughing, making noise, teasing each other, blabbering about the food. I even met this sofia girl, who had a weird way of answering her phone. Who were at the table? Mao, Ice, Nate, Meloi, Sofia, Rosh, and me.

..it was memorable. I had a dance with ube, for I was one of her roses (thanks!). As someone said, she is now a lady, but her inner child will still be in her. Good luck ube on your R-18 life.

..it was "supernatural." Hehe... there were wiccans around. They even blessed the candles, treasures, etc. There were two wiccans that got my attention last night. First was the girl who wore an orange gown and the girl who represented air.

..her element was earth. Hmm.. come to think of it, maia was one cute girl. Why? She wore glasses... and I'm one person who considers someone wearing glasses as cute. We even have the same element: earth. n_n But that's all about maia.. i have no intentions of being knowing her more, bugging her, nor even becoming an affiliate of her.

She was lovely. I can't understand her though. She neglected me for half of the night... what did I do wrong (I did not even do anything wrong).

Anyway, the last part of the debut was so romantic. There I was, in front of her, hugging her, dancing with her. "...if this was a dream, I don't want to wake up." That was what I thought while she danced with me for two or three songs.

Suddenly, a heartbreaker incident: she told me that she had a crush on someone.

Anyway, that's about it. I'm dizzy na.

ej-chan is now signing off.